I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
