i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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