dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You were trust falling into bushes
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