Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize
