Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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