I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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