and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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