Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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