he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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