He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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