when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
