The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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