Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
