I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
