I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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