She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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