you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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