Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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