Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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