Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
