No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
