And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
