once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
