It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I just got carded by a ten year old.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
