just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
