Acid is not a monday night drug
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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