I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
