Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Randomize
