gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just made out with a guy for $7.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
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