Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
