That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
