Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
