You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Help. Why am I so naked?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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