I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
