whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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