seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
