Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
