I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
