i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
