It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
