i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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