so explain again why im purple
no
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
