I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Randomize
