Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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