ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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