okay pat passed out under dana's car
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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