I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
