i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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