she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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