sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
