It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
