Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize